We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
