dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
