I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize