So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
