Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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