Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
