Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
