When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
