then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
