dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize