i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
