A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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