i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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