Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.