Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.