you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
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so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
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mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?