This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he puts the penis in happiness.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
BRING THE BAGELS
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.