I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize