the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
