I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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