Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are my feet made of real feet?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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