I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
