Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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