im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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