I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize