oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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