i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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