Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize