Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
oh god the rape fog is back!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
