so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
whose ass print is on the piano?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
