I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I smell stomach acid.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
