Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Randomize
