I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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