man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
