1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
