Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
