then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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