i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
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