when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You may now shotgun with the bride
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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