He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
