I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize