I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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