I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
