Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
