are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
