tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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