Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
