so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
