found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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