Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
