I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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