singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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