they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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