I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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