piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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