Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
