i permit you to call me
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
