Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
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