Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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